Lesson #1 - You Don't Have to Finish

I met my running group on the track today for a workout I've never done before...partner 800's.  It was so much fun!  The first group runs a lap at an easy pace, the second group joins the first group and they run together for 1 lap at goal race pace, then the first group stops and rests while the second group runs an easy lap.  When they are done, the first group starts the process all over again.  It was so fun!  I was feeling good and hitting some nice solid paces.  Then on the 5th round, my knee felt funny...a few steps later it felt very bad.  I stopped and walked, tried to run again, and gave up.  I knew at that point that I would have to drop out of the workout.  I definitely would have damaged my knee if I continued.

I had knee problems when I ran track and cross country in high school.  My junior year of high school, the state cross country meet fell on my 16th birthday.  I injured my knee in the first half mile of the race...and still finished!  I was in so much pain and did so much damage that I was on crutches for weeks and eventually had to have surgery.  Stupid, right?  Well, it was always drilled into my head that you always finish a race...so I did...even though it was to the detriment of my physical wellbeing.

So today's workout shows how far I've grown. I can actually stop a workout even though every ounce of me wanted to keep going.  But I would much rather be able to run my long run on Saturday instead of being dumb today and being out for 2 weeks.

Plus I still ended up running over 2 miles of speed work.  That's pretty darn good this early in my training program!  I am so focused on getting myself back into shape and eventually breaking that 2 hour barrier in the half marathon!!!  So I'm looking at the big picture instead of stressing out over one workout. 

Not Every Step is Forward

The last year of my life has been a personal challenge for many reasons...most of which are not running related so I will not go into a lot of detail.  Let's just say that every aspect of my life has been upended.  We have moved, I changed jobs, my husband and I separated, and the kids have entered into and left several "phases" along the way.  Adding all of this up, it has left me with little energy or motivation to run.  My mental state and my physical state have suffered as a result of my lack of running.  I've gained 20 pounds and have struggled to get it off. 

So I have re-committed myself to running.  I joined a running group...FINALLY!  That has made all the difference in the world in my motivation level.  I am so thankful for my new running friends.  They have no idea what an impact they have already made in my life...just by being there and helping me to keep going.

A friend recently asked why I have not been posting on this blog site much anymore.  I responded "I haven't been running so I don't have anything to say".  He reminded me that there are probably other people out there facing similar situations where life has gotten in the way of training...or just running in general.  His encouragement has led to this post.  I have realized that in life's journey, not all the steps we take are forward.  My last 12 months have been filled with steps backward and sideways.  But overall, I'm still in a better place than I was this time last year...so I am pleased to see that more steps were forward than any other direction.

I am running again!  I am blogging again!  I can't promise how often, and I can't promise that all of my posts will be interesting...but I can promise that I will be participating in the Baltimore Half Marathon in October...and along the way I will take many steps.  If you are reading this and are interested, I'll do my best to document my journey.

Texts from Friends

It always amazes me what small gestures can do.  Today I got a text from Colleen...my running buddy from OC.  She just basically said hi and that she missed me.  But seeing her name pop up on my text messages gave me an instant dose of motivation.  If it wasn't pouring down rain, I would go run right now! (is that an excuse???) 

Lisa and I have also been texting for the past few weeks reminding each other to stick with it.  Sadly it's been 10 days since we sent each other a text about our workouts.  I'm falling down on the job of motivating my friends...I need to get back to it.  Honestly I haven't sent her a text because I haven't been doing what I should have been doing.  My workouts and runs have dropped off in the last 10 days.  I do really well for a week or so then I get unmotivated again.  I need some consistency!

Colleen and some of the members of the Ocean City Running Club are coming to Baltimore for a 5K in late June.  If the race was today, I'm not sure that I would finish respectably.  Actually I know that I would probably not finish in 30 minutes.  But I have a few weeks to get myself together.  I've got to get going but I can do it.  I still won't be anywhere near my best time, but if I can finish in under 29 minutes, I'll be very pleased with the effort.

I'm not exactly on the "couch to 5K plan", but I need to start doing more than I've been doing.  I have the same challenge that every other runner has...trying to find time in my busy schedule to fit in a run.  When I saw Colleen's text, I told myself that it's not about finding the time, it's about making the time.  If it means that I have to get up earlier in the morning, then I need to do that.  If it means having Ryann watch the little ones, I need to do that too.  If it means asking my Mom to help out, I know she will gladly do that.

I thanked Colleen for her text but I'm not sure she really knows what she did for me.  I need to continue to find motivation in the small things.  When I lived in OC, running was part of my routine.  Now that I'm living here, I need to make running part of my routine again.  It's much easier when I'm meeting a group of people and running with friends.  But there's no reason why I can't make time for myself and make time for running.  It's true that I'm a much happier and healthier person when I'm running on a regular basis!  I could find all the excuses in the world not to run...I'm really good at that.  And right now when I'm running, my head is telling me all the reasons why I need to stop.  But if I start to make running a part of my regular routine again, it will be easier and more fun even if I'm running by myself.

I CAN DO THIS!!!  I just might need a little help from my friends.  Colleen and Lisa, please keep texting!  And if you're reading this and have my cell phone number, please text me too.  I can use all the motivation I can get. 

Plugged Back In

The last 3 times I've run, I have worn my Garmin.  Most of the time I'm pleasantly surprised when I look down at my wrist and see a pace that is "good".  But by the end of the run, I'm struggling.  I'm still only running about 3 miles at a time.  I am frustrated that I am not progressing. 

I have decided that I'm going to join a running group that starts training in July.  They are preparing for "a fall race" that I hope is the Baltimore half marathon.  The timing of the training plan works well for that race.  I am also hoping that by joining a group, my motivation and my endurance will increase.  I am mentally committed to running...until it's time to lace up and go.  This has never been an issue for me and I'm hoping that this is a temporary phase until I get better conditioned.

Unplugged and Starting Over

I have not been running for awhile now.  Too many excuses have gotten in my way.  Too busy, work responsibilities, kids, etc.

Last Saturday I volunteered to help with the Ocean City half marathon.  I enjoyed the day but I had several moments of sadness where I realized that I was no longer one of them...I am not capable of completing 13.1 miles right now.  So I vowed to do something about that. 

Sunday morning I got up and met Lisa in Berlin.  We ran a leisurely run around the 5K loop, although we cut off the last part so it was definitely less than 3 miles.  I promised her that I would get back to running.  Really I promised myself but said it out loud to Lisa.

I have run a couple of times this week in addition to my workout with Clara.  I can honestly say that every step has been a mental battle.  It hurts, I'm tired, I feel slow and the rolling hills around my house feel like mountains.  But I've been out there running.  That feels great.

Because I'm just a bit competitive and mostly competitive with myself, I knew that if I looked at my watch and saw how slowly I'm running, that I would be discouraged.  So I have run a loop around my neighborhood that I know is roughly 3 miles.  I have not worn my Garmin once.  I am running and for now that's all that matters.  Maybe next week I'll put the watch back on but for now my goals are not time related.  I simply need to build my base and start adding miles. 

I Love Running

I have not been able to run for the last 2 months.  I got a pedicure for my birthday and as a result got a plantar's wart right on the ball of my foot.  It grew so fast and was so big that over the counter treatments did not work.  I finally went to a podiatrist who has been treating it for 6 weeks now.  It no longer hurts and I have slowly been trying to get back into my running. We have had a very mild winter so far, but unfortunately every time I've been able to run, it's been raining.  So all of my running in the past few weeks has been done on a treadmill.  I hate running on a treadmill.

Today I got an opportunity to run outside for the first time since I had the plantar's wart.  On the treadmill, I've been struggling every time I try to run.  So today I really expected to struggle.  BUT I DIDN'T!!!!

I was 1 mile into my run when I realized how good I felt.  I had hoped to run 2 miles total.  I doubled that!  Every time I hit the point where I had planned to turn around and head home, I just kept going.  It was such a great feeling.

Now granted, I ran very slow compared to the pace I used to run.  But I didn't care.  I wore my Garmin only for the distance.  I really didn't care what the pace was.  Today's run was not about time.  It was about getting back to that great feeling that all runners know.  The pure love of running.  Not every run goes this well, especially for me.  But today's run was a huge confidence booster...and a great reminder of why I do this.

Running Group Update

A few weeks ago I was really excited about finding a running group.  The guy who owns the little gym I go to said that he's been thinking about putting together a running group for some time now.  I really thought he was serious about it.  He promised that he would post information on the board.  Every time I go into the gym, I check the board and there's nothing. 

I bought my latest pair of running shoes at Charm City Run in Clarksville.  They gave me information about a training group that is getting together to train for the Frederick Half in March.  Because of the close proximity to the OC Half, I could follow their plan without too much modification necessary.  When they taper, I'll just maintain.  HOWEVER, it costs $125.  You get a shirt, a training plan, a group to run with, blah blah.  This isn't my first half marathon and I have gotten a pretty solid training plan based on what Lisa Long developed for me.  So that seems like a lot of money to pay for having a group to run with.  Same thing with Fleet Feet Sports.  I went there to use a gift card and they told me that they also have a training group...again it's $125.

As it's well documented on this blog, I am really not good at running alone.  My head gets in my way.  When I'm running with other people, I'm much more productive and enjoy the run so much more.  So here's my dilemma...pay $125 to run with others or continue to struggle alone for free?