Bad Patient

I am a bad patient.  I've always been a bad patient.  When I was in college, I had knee surgery over the Winter Break.  I think my mom started calling my friends to come pick me up and get me out of her hair.  It's not that I was demanding...it's that I am just so miserable not being able to do things for myself.  I hate asking for help.

I got my stitches out on Wednesday so now I'm able to drive.  I am an extremely defensive driver now because it hurts so much to slam on the brakes.  But I am loving the fact that I no longer have to depend on other people to drive me where I need to go.

The biggest problem I have right now is that it's such an effort to get up.  When I'm sitting down, I typically take off my aircast.  It's very heavy so I am much more comfortable without it on.  But whenever I get up, I have to wear it...even if I'm just walking to the bathroom.  I am such a klutz that I will not waver on this point.  I have to wear my boot.  So it takes me a few minutes just to put the boot on, get it properly adjusted and fastened.  What a hassle. 

I think Stephen is tired of me asking him to get things for me.  He has been good about it but I'm sure it's getting old.  And I really wish I could just hop up and get myself a glass of water...or whatever. 

Before my surgery people had said to me "enjoy being waited on".  I don't know how to do that.  Maybe someday I will figure that out, but for now I just really wish I could do things for myself.

I have not been to the gym.  I'm hoping that I can get there tomorrow.  I think that a big part of me is more than a little nervous.  It is painful to stand for any period of time.  I just took my first shower today.  I really want to swim but I'm nervous about it.  I really want to do a workout but I'm nervous about that too. 

I just keep reminding myself that healing is the most important thing to do right now.  I can jump in the pool any time.  But unless I'm smart about this recovery, I won't be returning to top shape any time soon.  So I don't want to rush into doing too much.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?