A Difficult Decision

It seems like 2011 has been the year of really difficult decisions for me.  I have been recently faced with several.  The one that relates to this blog is my choice to enter the Baltimore Half Marathon.  I have registered and paid my money.  So in essence, I've made a commitment to do it.  That's the problem...

The Baltimore Half is on Oct. 15th which is roughly 2 months away.  Based on my training plan, I should have run 8 miles on Saturday.  I struggled to get 6 in.  I know that I am not a good runner when I'm running by myself.  I go slower and run a shorter distance than when I'm running with other people.  I also know that I'm a better runner when I'm strong.  Since I'm temporarily living at my parents' house for 3 more weeks, then moving to a new area, I have not been going to a gym.  I plan to start at a gym when we get to the new house but this transition time is too crazy to try to throw in a gym membership.

And I've mentioned a few times on this blog that I'm an extremely competitive person.  I would not be happy just to finish the half.  I have already run 3 so "just finishing" doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment.  I want to break 2 hours.  If I can't achieve that, I really want to run better than I did last year.  Based on my current level of ability, I'm nowhere near accomplishing either.

So, after much consideration, I have decided to continue training but take the pressure off.  I'm going to run the 5K instead of the Half.  I know, I know...some of my readers will think this is being a quitter.  However, I know that if I put together a lousy performance in the Half, I'll be pissed.  So for my mental sanity for the next 2 months (which are going to be incredibly hectic anyway), I have decided to take the pressure off and not run the Half. 

As soon as I made that decision, I immediately felt better.  Right now I have to make all my decisions based on what feels right.  This one feels right.  So I'm sorry to Dave who will say that I should suck it up and get out there and train properly and I'll be able to do it.  But right now being a quitter is EXACTLY what I need to be.

Hills!

Yesterday I was determined to get a GOOD run in.  I've had disappointing runs while staying at my parents' house so I really needed a good run in order to get my head back in the game.  There's something about a hill workout that was really appealing to me.  (Yes, I am a bit crazy like that.)

My parents live in a pretty neighborhood with nice rolling hills.  There is one hill that is very steep and seems to go on forever!  So I set out at an easy jog to warm up.  I ran about a quarter mile for a warm up and then I got to the bottom of the hill.  Deep breath and I took off.  It felt great!  My legs were pumping, my arms had great form and I felt good.  Then after about 10 steps I realized that this hill was steep.  It didn't feel so great anymore!  LOL.

I got to the top of the hill the first time and walked for about 20 seconds to get my breathing under control.  Then I turned around and jogged back down the hill.  I hate running downhill!  It's the worst! 

I managed to run the hill 4 times before my legs gave out completely.  My legs were so shaky as I jogged back down the hill the last time.  I ran back to my parents' house as a cool down.  The kicker of it all...my parents driveway is a steep, short uphill climb.  Yeah...I walked that.

But it felt good to have a GOOD run in.  Now hopefully I can get my head back and be able to keep up with the running group on Saturday when we attempt to run 8 miles.  What?!?!  I don't feel ready for that but I have got to get my mileage up or else I'm in serious trouble for the half marathon.  Pressure!!!

The Prodigal Returns

This weekend I returned to the beach and got the chance to run with the OC Running Club!  I was so excited because it has been really difficult to do anything on my own.

Well it was evident that they have left me in the dust!  I took off at what I felt like was a decent pace and Colleen and Barry flew past me!  Colleen kept up a monster pace throughout the 6 miles we ran...well, the 6 miles SHE ran.  I ended up stopping after 5.5 miles.  I was so impressed with Colleen.  Honestly, I was a little jealous too.  I used to be the one who easily ran ahead of the group and now I'm struggling just to keep up.

I am actually OK with it.  I know my limitations.  One of them is that I am really not good at running on my own.  I don't push myself on the pace and I don't run as often as I should.  I am seriously considering not running the Baltimore Half.  I know that I want to do it...but I want to do it well...I don't want to go and suffer through a lousy performance.  SO, it's decision time.  If I'm going to run the race, I need to get myself in gear.  I need to really focus on training by myself.  Or I need to admit that this might not be the best time to train for a half marathon and allow myself to be a slacker.  Hmmm.....

Sunday Ryann and I went to the gym.  Ryann and Daina did a weight lifting workout and I did the workout that was on the board from Saturday.  Getting that workout in was really important to me.  I felt better physically and mentally after I worked out.  I really need to find a gym here!  It's just so hard because where I am temporarily living is not where I will be living...so I just don't know where I should go yet.  Maybe I can find somewhere near my parent's house that gives a free one month trial!  I'm going to do some research on that!

All in all, it was a good weekend.  I need to get off my butt during the week though.  That's very clear.  I'm sore!

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner

I'm too young to remember this movie but the line always stuck in my head.  It can be very lonely to run.  It can also be very comforting to run alone.  For me, it depends on the day.

Since things have been so crazy for me in the last week, I haven't gotten much running in.  I ran 3 miles on Friday and 4 miles this morning.  I have got to get my miles in!  I'm starting to wonder if I am going to be able to keep up with my training program considering all the changes I have coming up in the next 6 weeks. 

Friday's run was difficult because halfway through I realized that I should have used the bathroom before I started.  So it was an uncomfortable second half of the run.  Today's run was difficult because my legs were not working right.  I was telling them to run faster but they weren't listening.  I settled into a pace and realized that it was over a minute per mile slower than what I normally run on my long runs!  Wow...it really didn't feel that slow.

Of course there is one variable that adds to the difficulty of running here vs. running in OC...hills.  It's not like there are constant hills but every step has a grade to it.  At the beach, everything is flat.  There is no grade at all.  Maybe training on hills and constant grade will better prepare me for the Baltimore Half.  I certainly hope so...especially considering my mileage is lacking at the moment!

I also need to find a gym and QUICKLY!  I don't want to lose strength.  So that will be on my list of priorities.

I am really hoping that I will be able to run with the OC Running Club on Saturday.  The plan calls for 6 miles.  I know that if I'm running with the group, I'll actually do the 6 miles.  If I'm running alone, I can't guarantee that I won't give into my head when it tells me that I should really stop.  I'm really not a good solo runner unless it's a race.  I am going to have to get more mentally strong if I'm going to keep up with my training plan and endure the Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner!