Baltimore Half Marathon

I have purposely taken a few days before writing this entry.  My half marathon was not what I had hoped for or expected.  But after thinking about it for a few days, it was the most incredible learning experience I've been through.

I got down to Baltimore on the metro.  It's about a 1/2 mile walk from the metro station to Pickles where I was meeting my group.  Had there been a train there and ready to leave when I got to the metro station, I would have been fine.  As it was, I had to wait nearly 15 minutes before a train came so I was running way behind schedule.  I got to Pickles just as the group was getting ready to leave for the starting line.  Meghan helped me get my stuff together, I ran to the bathroom and pinned my number to my shirt.  Then we were off to the starting line.

It was nice to be a part of a large group of people walking to the starting line together.  We all chatted and tried to keep from getting nervous.  At the start, we all huddled to try to stay warm and discussed race strategy.  Heather, Erin and I decided to try to stay together and shoot for a 2:08.

As the race started, I realized that my watch was being really goofy.  It would read that I was running a 12 minute pace, then drop to a 7 minute pace and my effort didn't change at all.  Heather and Erin's watches were pretty close on their pace, so I just stopped looking at mine.  We did a pretty good job of staying together for most of the first half of the race.  I was feeling pretty good although my knee was a little achy.  We hit the halfway point of the race in under an hour!  Woo Hoo!  On pace to break 2 hours!

It was around that time that my knee decided to really act up.  I was struggling to keep the pace.  I knew that I had to let Heather go.  Erin was somewhere behind me so I decided to drop back a little bit and wait for her.  I didn't have to wait long...she was only a few steps behind me.  She asked about my knee and volunteered to stay back with me.  I wouldn't allow that.  I firmly told her to go on and race her own race.  I would be fine.  She glanced at me again to make sure I was serious.  I nodded and she took off.

So the next couple of miles I tried to ignore the pain.  I was not keeping the same fast pace, but I was still running at a decent speed.  The hills were what hurt my knee the most.  I was hoping that once I got past the really hilly portion of the course that I would be better.  There were several hills that I simply couldn't run up...so I walked. 

I had just passed the water stop around mile 9 or so when I felt like I couldn't go on.  I kept counting down the miles on my hand and couldn't figure out how I was going to do over 4 miles with this pain.  I kept going, but started looking for a medic tent.  I've never paid attention to where the medic tents are on a course...I've never considered quitting a race before.  But I knew my knee was in bad shape...and it was starting to hurt all the way up to my hip.  Not good. 

Mile 10 and still no medic tent.  I was running, if you could call it that.  I looked at my watch and realized that I was still on pace to hit a decent finish time.  Are you kidding me?  10 minute miles were all I needed to match my previous Baltimore half marathon time of 2:08, which was my original goal for the day.  Determination set in...I can finish AND I can match my 2:08.  Watch me go!  I picked up my pace to under a 10 minute mile and set my mind on the task of just getting across the finish line.

1/2 mile later I realized how hard this was going to be.  But I wasn't going to give up.  I can do this.

Mile 11...Margaret runs past me on the bridge over I-83.  She yells "good job Karen!"  All I could manage was to lift my hand and wave to her.  My normal reaction would have been to cheer her on in response.  I was spent...every ounce of energy was going toward just moving ahead.  I was shuffling at this point.  The bridge is a steady incline and really difficult on a good day.  I moved as far to the right as I could as masses of people were passing me running up this bridge.  But I kept on going.

Mile 12...I am telling myself "you can do this" over and over again.  My body wants to give up.  My head is screaming at me to stop running.  But my determination won out...I kept on running.  One more mile, one more mile, one more mile.  I know at this point I'm not going to match my previous 2:08...but I'm still close.  I'm going to finish with a good time after everything I've gone through!  Incredible.

Mile 13...I see that damn mile marker.  I always hate that mile marker.  You think you're done, but you still have that damn .1 to go.  Today that .1 loomed larger than ever.  People are picking up their pace and sprinting to the finish.  The crowds are thick and everyone is cheering.  It was all a blur.  Where the hell is that finish?  I'm almost done...I'm almost done...I'm almost done.

I crossed the finish line and immediately started crying.  Actually I started to recognize that I was crying.  I think I had been crying for awhile.  The finish chute at Baltimore is notoriously a disaster.  It was so crowded that we had to stand completely still for several minutes before moving just a little bit.  I was able to shuffle through the crowd, get my finisher's medal, and leave the chute.  I saw Erin in the food line.  I chatted with her about the rest of her race and my knee issues.  I looked around for anyone else I knew but couldn't find anyone. 

It was at that point that I wanted to just get out of there.  I saw all the families there cheering on their loved one...I saw smiles on runner's faces...I saw everything that I didn't have...and at that moment, it was too much to deal with.  So I hobbled over to Pickles (which was a very long walk with a bum knee).  I got my stuff and tried to escape quickly.  I saw Andi and cried to her about my knee and my disappointing race.  I could only focus on what could have been and what wasn't.  She was so sweet and so encouraging.  She was right about everything but at that moment I wasn't sharing her perspective.

My conversation with Andi is the main reason why I have waited to write this blog.  I needed some time away from that disappointment and frustration.  I still feel some of that, but now I'm able to put it into the proper perspective.  I finished the race AND I finished with a pretty darn good time.  A lot of people would be thrilled to finish a half marathon in the time that I did.  I proved to myself that I could overcome the challenges and finish what I started.  I am proud of my finish.

And just as a follow up, I went to the physical therapist on Monday.  It is not a tear, it's just a strain of my IT band.  I've been put on "rest" this week...no running or working out at all.  I am hopeful that after this week I will be able to get back to running.  I'm going to break 2 hours...maybe as soon as Dec. 8th when I run the Rehoboth Half Marathon!